


Fighting To Love (With all that we are)

by GoodSmutarian



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Big Brother Dean, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, M/M, Protective Castiel, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Sam Winchester, Twin Brother Sam, Wincest - Freeform, Winchester Bro/Reader fluff, castiel/reader - Freeform, reader injury, slow build ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-06-02 07:58:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6558493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoodSmutarian/pseuds/GoodSmutarian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader is Sam's twin sister, and Dean's youngest sibling (second behind Sam by a measly four minutes). You've slowly been falling for Castiel, the angel that fights with the Winchesters whenever he can. But then you are abducted by angels, and Dean blames the entire race, Cas included, for the actions of a few. Deep down you know Cas feels the same about you that you do for him, but Dean seeks to protect you at all costs, and all the sigils on the walls keep out the blue-eyed angel that your heart cries out for as you heal. It was only a matter of time before you fell for him, and why, why did the rogue angels and your ridiculously protective brothers have to mess it all up now?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> “Y/N.” His soft voice washed over you, and you closed your eyes to better hold on. 
> 
> They fluttered open to just in time to see him lifting you into his arms, and your only fleeting thought was that you hoped you didn’t bleed on his crisp, clean trench coat.
> 
> “It’s okay, love.” The blue-eyed angel whispered. “You are safe now.”

_Blood. Pain. A loud roar in your ears._

_Pain shooting through your thigh. Your wrist._

_Your vision was blurred, but you could make out the strong silhouettes of your brothers as they tore the men who had attacked you to pieces. You heard, rather than saw, the clean slice of the blade that ran from Dean’s arm into the man that had tied you up. Saw Sam take out the guy that had cut your skin, Sam’s hand twisting into and up inside the fucker’s chest with his angel blade._

_Your brothers. Your brothers found you. They followed your meager bread crumbs, and had come to rescue you._

_And they weren’t the only ones._

_Blue eyes, bluer than a clear summer sky, hovered in front of your fuzzy vision._

_Castiel._

_Cas. Dean’s closest, perhaps only, friend. An angel who had come in the Winchester’s times of need in days past. The same one who had gripped Dean and raised him from perdition._

_The gorgeous, comforting, celestial being that now reached out a gentle hand for yours._

_“Y/N.” His soft voice washed over you, and you closed your eyes to better hold on._

_They fluttered open to just in time to see him lifting you into his arms, and your only fleeting thought was that you hoped you didn’t bleed on his crisp, clean trench coat._

_“It’s okay, love.” The blue-eyed angel whispered. “You are safe now.”_

You came into consciousness slowly. The first thing you noticed was that you were floating.

No. That couldn’t be. You could feel a giving softness beneath you. Your bed? No. The couch. The couch in the living room of the house you shared with Sam and Dean.

No, you thought again. Not your normal house. You faintly took in the cream colored walls, the expansive space, the clean carpet.

This was the beach house that Bobby had left to the three of you. You had spent your summers here, choosing the peace of the ocean over the year-round hunt like your brothers. It was a break from dingy hotel rooms, bloody clothes in the backseat of the impala, greasy diner food at any small town across Podunk, USA.

This was crisp, clean. You could almost smell the ocean air, and tried to lift your head to see if anyone had opened a window to let in the salty breeze.

Pain, pain stabbing through your right side took you quickly out of your musings. You cringed, and must have made a noise, because your twin brother was instantly at your side.

“Y/n?” Sam asked frantically, his large hands reaching out to gently cradle your hip and shoulder. “Hey. Hey, talk to me, Little Me. You awake?”

You turned your head towards his voice, too sleepy to fully open your eyes. “Sammy.”

“Hey, beautiful.” Sam smiled, and you would have made fun of him for crying if you hadn’t been so damn tired. “How you doin’?”

You tried to move, to turn towards him, but a heavy weight stilled your right arm, and a rapidly increasing burn tugged at your right thigh. “Sam,” you choked out. “Hurts.”

“I know. I know, Little Me. They got you good before we found you.” You felt a warm hand run along the length of your side, gently shifting you back onto your back. “Lay back. Sleep. It’ll be okay.”

Dean’s ominously low voice growled, “I’m gonna kill them, Sammy. Every fucking one.”

That was the last thing you heard before sleep pulled you under again.

 

_“Just fix her, Cas!”_

_“I can’t, Dean. These sigils. They are for her protection, but they weaken me.”_

_“Dean.” Sam’s voice. “Cas is just getting his grace back. He’s not even up to full speed. We can’t expect him to-“_

_“The hell we can’t! That’s our baby sister, man. Use your fucking angel mojo and heal her the hell up.”_

_“Dean. I cannot even enter her room with those sigils on the walls. I can barely be out here without feeling that the warding will drain me. If you wish me to help, you have to relax your protection.”_

_“No,” Dean snarled. “It’s_ your _people that did this, Cas.”_

_“I did not know, Dean. I assure you, I had no knowledge of-“_

_“I don’t give a shit!”_

_“Dean!” Sam’s voice was sharper now. “Take a breath, man. Think of who you are talking to. Cas helped us save her. He helped_ us, _Dean. Not them. Take a breath, and help us figure out a solution instead of creating more problems.”_

_“You have a choice, Dean.” Castiel said calmly, though there was still an undercurrent of anger in his voice. “You take down the protection and give me time to heal in this vessel, which in turn will help me heal your sister, or you leave the protection and accept that her body will take time to recover.”_

_“You can’t help, Cas?”_

_“Dean-“_

_“Then get the hell out.”_

Holy Christ, your side hurt. And why did the skin of your right thigh feel like it was trying not to split apart? It felt dry, like in the dead of winter when all the lotion in the world won’t soothe the driest of skin.

You slowly rolled over, flexing your fingers and toes, trying to take stock of your body. It felt like you had been lying down for a ridiculously long time, and you tried to remember what time you had crashed into bed the night before.

You dug deep into your short term memory, but it wasn’t a bender or a late night research session with Sam that had caused you to conk out on the couch.

_Going on a food run. Two men, from out of nowhere. You thought you recognized one as having known Cas. Dropping the bags as they grabbed you. Shouting for Sam and Dean, even though they were back at the hotel. Trying to grab your knife, to no avail as your hands were already firmly trapped. A nauseous feeling in your stomach as they zapped you into a room you didn’t recognize._

“Angels,” you whispered.

“Y/N?” Dean heard you move and rushed to your side, lowering to his knees next to the couch. “You awake?”

Your eyes watered. Your older brother. He was here, it was okay, because it was Dean, and Dean could keep you safe from anything. “Dean?” you choked out.

“Hey,” he said softly, taking your right arm that felt so, so heavy and holding it in his big strong hand. “How do you feel, kiddo?”

You started to turn into him, wanting to melt into his strength, but your right side screamed in protest. “Hurts,” you said weakly. You wanted to cry, scream, rage at the fact that you felt so weak in front of a man who was always so strong.

“Hey, hey, easy. It’s okay.” Dean said softly. He called out for Sam, then helped you slowly sit up, bracing your body against his where he knelt on the floor. Your legs fell to either side of him, and you slumped against his chest. “Dean.”

“Yeah, sweetheart, I’m here.” He rubbed your back, somewhere you miraculously felt no pain, and after a moment pressed his forehead to yours. “Scared the hell out of me, kiddo.”

You choked out a laugh. “Sorry, bro.”

“Y/N?” Sam flew into the room. He sat down next to you on the couch, and with your brothers sharing your weight, you felt instantly better. “How you feelin’, Little Me?”

Your heart swelled at the endearment that your twin brother had used for you ever since you could remember. Sam was born four minutes ahead of you, and Dean four years ahead of both of you, and even though you could argue that you and Sam were the same age, Sam acted every bit the protective older brother as Dean. Okay, maybe not quite, as Sam was a little more tolerant when it came to your shenanigans, but the sentiment was there.

“Right side hurts.”

“Yeah,” Dean nodded. “They got you with an angel blade.”

“And my thigh.”

Sam was the one to rub your back now. “There, too. Dean stitched you up.” He held two pills to your mouth, followed by a bottle of water.

You looked down at your right wrist after swallowing, and saw that it was decorated with a purple cast. No wonder it felt heavy. “And what the hell is this?” You whined.

Dean’s eyes darkened. “Uriel crushed it in his fucking hand when we came in.” He shot up off the floor, pacing in anger. “I swear, those feathered sons of bitches better hide way the hell up there,” Dean pointed to the sky, “and hope that I never, ever find them.”

You blinked. “Uriel did this?”

Sam scrunched up his face. “And two of his angel lackeys, yeah.”

You looked at Dean. “But I thought angels were the good guys. I mean Cas…wait.” You looked around, as if expecting the blue-eyed angel to appear. “Where’s Cas?”

Sam glared at Dean. “He can’t come in here.”

You softened. “Sam, it’s okay. Sure he can. I don’t blame Cas just because Uriel-“

“Maybe you don’t,” Sam cut you off. “But Dean does.” Sam waved a hand towards the walls.

That’s when you saw the angel sigils. Painted in large, broad red strokes, on every wall of the room.

You squinted at your oldest brother. “Dean. What the hell.”

“They ain’t gettin’ in here,” Dean said tightly. “They ain’t touchin’ you again.”

“But Dean,” you protested. “Cas, he saved me, he…” you rubbed at your temples. “I remember him picking me up, I remember-“ _I remember him lifting me into his arms. I remember him calling me ‘love’. I remember him telling me that I was safe. And I remember believing him._ ”Dean.” you said firmly. “I want to talk to Cas.”

Dean imitated the sound of a buzzer. “Nope. Try again.”

“Dean!”

“Argue with me all you want, y/n. Go ahead.” Dean crossed his arms in front of his chest. “I guarantee I’ve got way more energy than you do at the moment. I’ll outlast any case you try to make.”

You hated when Dean glared at you like that. You lowered your eyes, and couldn’t help pouting. “This isn’t Cas’s fault.” Never mind what it was that made you want to see the angel so badly.

“Agreed,” Sam said pointedly, still comforting you but looking at Dean.

“I don’t mess around with your safety. Either of yours.” Dean pinned you both with his emerald gaze. “I know Cas is on our side but until I find out what those haloed bastards want with my sister, those sigils stay on every goddamn wall of this house.” He walked over to the couch. “It’s late, and you’ve still got a hell of a lot of healing to do. Get some rest, kiddo.”

“We know someone who’s pretty damn good at healing, Dean.” You argued, but your body was tired, and your eyes were heavy, and your heart wasn’t really in it. You didn’t even much care about the pain itself; only that you were being told that Dean had purposely and effectively blocked Castiel from your home.

Sam eased you back down onto the couch. “Would you rather be in your bedroom, Little Me? Or do you want to stay on the couch.”

You reached out for him, sleepily tangling your fingers in his plaid shirt. “Don’t wanna move.”

Sam chuckled softly and covered you with a blanket. “Couch it is.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead as you drifted off. “Water and more painkillers on the floor by your waist if you need them. Love you.”

You sunk into the couch as slumber claimed you. “Love you, Sammy.”


	2. Chapter 2

You came into consciousness slowly, wiggling your fingers and toes, slowly moving your arms, finding your right arm to be much heavier than your left.

“Arg.” You slid the weight onto your tummy, and cringed when your cast brushed across your stitches through your tee shirt. You looked down; you were wearing a roomy old tank of Sammy’s, the fabric softly draping your body, giving the stitches on your side plenty of breathing room.

You levered yourself up onto your elbows, your right leg rustling gingerly against the fabric of the couch. Those stitches pulled with your movements as well, but you had been lying down for so long that your body was yearning to move.

You craned your neck to look around. The coffee pot in the kitchen was on, but your brothers were nowhere to be found. You squinted against the light streaming in through the half-open blinds of the floor to ceiling window perpendicular to the couch you rested on.

It was mid-morning sun, that much you could tell. The house was so quiet, but still you doubted that both brothers would still be sleeping.

“Sam?” You called out weakly. Nothing. You reached for your phone where it lay on the coffee table, but when you clicked it on you found no messages from your brothers.

“Dean?” You tried.

Nothing.

“Aagh.” You groaned as you sat up fully. You felt as if you had been sleeping for days, but you were finally ready to face the daylight, tired of the hours you had spent on the couch.

Now that you were sitting up, your broken wrist cradled against your chest, you felt strong, stronger than you had since being captured. You were eager to get up, to get a sit rep from your brothers, to figure out your next move.

You called for your brothers again, but there was no answer, so you stood up and made your way into the kitchen to pour yourself a cup of coffee. You probably should get some water, but the strong smell of the dark, caffeinated brew was too tempting.

Taped to the coffee maker was a note.

_On a quick salt and burn. Back tonight. Drink some damn water._

Dean. You smirked, and reveled in the glorious waft of steam rising from your coffee mug.

You reread the note, and you were hit with a sharp pang, missing your brothers so much in that moment that you started to tear up. Jeez, you had become emotional. Getting kidnapped would do that to a girl, you supposed.

You had drifted in and out of consciousness over the last few days, needing both the painkillers and extra sleep to heal from your injuries, and every time your fuzzy brain came to, somehow Sam or Dean were right by your side at exactly the right time- giving you pills, water, or a soothing hand on your back to coax you back to sleep.

You knew your brothers slept together, and were never apart from each other for very long, but their connection to you was almost as strong, especially Sam’s, and one of them had been with you every time you had woken up. One early morning you had awakened to find Sam passed out on the floor right next to the couch, his hand curled around a fresh water bottle as if ready to pass it to you in his sleep.

You smiled through tears that weren’t quite heavy enough to fall, and that’s when you saw the angel sigils again.

_“Maybe you don’t,” Sam cut you off. “But Dean does.” Sam waved a hand towards the walls._

The conversation slammed back into your mind.

_“They ain’t gettin’ in here,” Dean said tightly. “They ain’t touchin’ you again.”_

But there was one angel you wanted in particular, one that had carried you out of that cold, dark room, away from those that had caused you harm. “Cas.” You whispered. Which was just pointless with Dean’s handiwork all over the house. You bit your lip as the tears threatened again; there was no way your angel could get into this house with that crap all over the walls.

Still, that didn’t stop you from praying for the man you needed. “Cas. I miss you.” Perhaps because you knew he couldn’t come, that’s how the words could fall so easily from your lips.

You loved Castiel, with every fiber of your being, even though you knew you shouldn’t. He was Dean’s best friend, practically his guardian angel. Castiel was the reason you still had two older brothers instead of just one.  You had started falling for him the moment he had brought Dean back into yours and Sam’s lives, and your feelings had only gotten stronger the more you had been around him.

Those gorgeous blue eyes, his rough but somehow soothing voice, that dark shock of hair that you just itched to run your fingers through. Dean claimed that Castiel knew nothing of humanity; never understood pop culture references, didn’t understand basic human body language, couldn’t pick up on the simplest of social cues.

But you had studied Cas as well, and sometimes you felt like the look in his eyes when he fixated on you was something important, something meaningful, something more than just a look at Sam and Dean’s little sister. You felt like he saw you, really saw you. Saw the broken pieces inside when he cocked his head just so, saw the strength that lie underneath your vulnerability, saw the love swirling inside your heart that you hadn’t ever put a label on.

Sometimes Castiel looked at you, and you felt as though he saw his whole world right there in your eyes, the same way you did when you looked at him.

These thoughts ran through your mind as you walked to the balcony off the living room in a trance. Maybe if you could get outside…

Dean would tear you a new one. Sam wouldn’t yell, but even if he may be more understanding than Dean, he would still give you that puppy dog look of disappointment, his head dipped down just so, his hair falling into his eyes. Because Dean had said no, and Sam had tried to argue your case, but in his own way had gone along with Dean’s ruling.

But still….you had to.

You slid the door open, and stepped out into the mid-morning sunshine, opening your arms slowly, mindful of the stitches in your side, resting your hands on the balcony rail.

Looking out at the expanse of sand and salt water beyond, you softly whispered his name. “Castiel.”

You tipped your head up towards the sun, towards the sky, Louder, you said, “Cas. Cas, please. I need you, Castiel.”

 

_“Dean,” Sam said sharply. “Look at me.”_

_“Can’t, Sammy. Not safe. Gotta keep my eyes on the road.”_

_“It’s a red light, Dean, and you being concerned about safe driving is bullshit.” Sam was fuming, pissed at his brother for being so goddamn stubborn, while at the same time wanting to throw him in the backseat to engage in a certain horizontal activity that they had restrained themselves from indulging in while their sister healed._

_Dean reached out to pet the dashboard. “Gotta protect my baby.” He winked and rubbed Sam’s thigh. “And my baby.”_

_Sam pushed Dean’s hand away, though not before giving his fingers a quick squeeze. “Don’t be cute. I’m mad at you.”_

_“Aw, come on, Sammy. I gave her a fake number.”_

_“This isn’t about the waitress, Dean.” Sam countered, although he did utter something that rhymed with ‘pitch’ under his breath. He wasn’t concerned about Dean ever cheating, and if some pretty girl got Dean a little riled up, well, it was Sam that got to reap the benefit._

_Sam shook his head. This wasn’t about that. “He can help her, Dean.”_

_Dean maneuvered the impala onto the highway to head back to the beach house. He drifted seamlessly into the light traffic, his face casual, but Sam noticed the slight tightening of his jaw. “He’s a liability, Sam.”_

_“She needs him.” Sam said gently. “He makes her-“_

_“Stop.” Dean cut him off. “I don’t want to hear that. You got me?”_

_“Dean,” Sam tried again. “I know you want what’s best for her. I do too. But you don’t always get to choose what that may be. Didn’t you see him lift her out of there? She doesn’t trust anybody but us.” Sam sighed. And wasn’t that just a sad thing? He continued trying to reason with Dean. “But she trusts him. And he cares, Dean, more than just an angel following orders, more than an angel caring about humanity. They have something, Dean, and-“_

_“They have a mutual goal, Sam. And that’s it.” Dean cut his hand through the air, the other tightly gripping the steering wheel. “They have mutual acquaintances.” Dean gestured between the two of them. “That’s_ all _they have.” Dean focused on the road._

_Sam shook his head and peered out his window. He loved his brother more than life itself, but goddamn, Dean Winchester was stubborn. “I think she loves him, Dean.”_

_Dean was silent for several moments, only the Impala’s engine and the rhythm of AC/DC rumbling in the background. When Sam didn’t continue, Dean said quietly, “Not helping, Sam.”_

_Sam whipped his head towards Dean. “Neither are you.”_

_Dean ripped his gaze from the road. “Sammy, please.” His green eyes were suddenly vulnerable rather than commanding. “She can’t…He’s not…”_

_Sam laid a hand on Dean’s thigh, rubbing the tense muscles through the denim. “Look, maybe it’s nothing. Maybe it’s just one ally helping another, you know?” Sam scooted closer, not believing his own words, but willing to say them for now, if it would soothe Dean’s frayed nerves.  “Maybe it’s just one person,” Sam nuzzled Dean’s hair, Dean’s head tilting away from Sam to give Sam better access to that ticklish spot on his neck, “trying to comfort another.”_

_“Mmm.” Dean hummed his agreement, and rocked his hips up when Sam’s hand wandered farther up Dean’s thigh, brushing his fly. “Yeah, Sammy. Maybe.”_

_Sam knew a temporary victory when he had one, and he cupped Dean through his jeans before deftly flipping open Dean’s button and zipper. His hand snaked into Dean’s jeans, cupping Dean’s half-hard length and stroking it slowly to full hardness._

_“God, Sam.” Dean shifted his hips to better accommodate Sam’s hand. “Yeah, baby, just like that.”_

_Sam smirked, and ran his lips across Dean’s neck, peppering the salty skin with warm, open mouth kisses before scooting back enough that he could lower his mouth to Dean’s thighs. Sam kissed Dean’s belly, Dean’s hips, Dean’s inner thigh before closing his mouth around the head of Dean’s cock._

_“Shit, Sammy.” Dean’s hips shot up off the bench seat, and the hand not gripping the steering wheel wound its way into Sam’s hair. “Trying to drive, Sam. I’m on the goddamn highway.”_

_“Then you’d better pay attention,” Sam said sultrily before closing his mouth all the way around Dean._

“Castiel.” You said the angel’s name again, louder this time.  You looked left, then right, then once more in front of you across the sandy beach, but still no Cas.

You sighed. It was too much to hope for. Dean had this place on angel lockdown, and even outside, it seemed you couldn’t catch a break.

You turned to head back indoors, and that’s when you heard it. That trademark flap of wings, the otherwise soundless entry of your angel pounding in your chest.

He stood in front of you, blocking your entrance back into the house. His ocean blue eyes took in your pale face, your too thin body, your injured wrist. The baggy tank and sleep shorts hid your other injuries, but his gaze paused on the bottom inch of your thigh gash before returning to your face.

Castiel lifted a hand towards your face, dropping it before actually making contact. “Y/n,” he rumbled, and you closed your eyes for the sound of his voice. “How are you feeling?”

The tears that had threatened earlier spilled gently over your eyelids. “Cas.” You choked out. But you didn’t dare go to him.

He took a step forward. “You are hurt.”

You shook your head, and he looked at you, confused as to why you were now smiling.

“I’m better now,” You reassured him.  He was here. Castiel had heard you, he had come, and he was standing right here in front of you.

One move, one sign that he wasn’t just here on behalf of your brothers, and you swore you would-

He reached over, brushed a stray hair from your face, tucking it gently behind your ear. This was it, you  thought, inching closer. This was-

“Where are Sam and Dean?”

You deflated. Of course he was here for your brothers, not for you. Your shoulders slumped. “On a hunt.” You injected a lightness into your voice that you did not feel. “They should be back tonight. It was just one state over-“

“Good,” he growled. He lashed out, grabbing your uninjured wrist, pulling you up against his chest, a lean wall of muscle that was solid as granite. “Then I have time to do this.”

His mouth slammed against yours, his body rough but his kiss soft, his lips warm against your own, and before you could think _holy shit I’m kissing Cas,_ he tilted his head and changed the angle of the kiss, pressing his lips lightly against yours, feeling your body meld against his before coaxing your lips open, his tongue carefully sliding into your mouth to fully taste you.

You brought your arms up to wind around his neck, your plaster encased arm resting on his left shoulder. Your left hand gripped the hair at the base of his neck tight as you lost yourself in the kiss, letting him prod your mouth with his tongue, darting out your own to match his. He tasted like sunshine and salt and _man_ , and something else you couldn’t identify, something other worldly, something you had never known before.

He nipped at your teeth once more before slowly ungluing his mouth from yours. He reached out to tip your chin up, forcing you to meet his piercing gaze. “Are you alright?” He searched your eyes, your face, checking you out himself while awaiting your answer.

You smiled and slid your arms down to brush his chest, and you laid your cheek against that safe, solid surface, feeling his arms tighten around your body, careful not to aggravate your injuries.

“I am now.” You said again. You fisted your hands in his shirt. “Just…” You tipped your head up, offering your mouth to him once more. “Do that again.”

He swooped down and happily obliged your request, and you both got lost in the kiss, oblivious to the sound of your ringing phone, vibrating itself off of the coffee table just a few feet inside.

_“She’s not answering, Sammy.” Dean growled, jabbing his thumb at his phone, hanging up and immediately redialing._

_Sam sighed. All of the earlier relaxation from the road head he had given Dean had dissipated since Dean had tried five times to reach y/n, each one unsuccessful._

_“She’s probably sleeping, Dean.” Sam reached over to rub Dean’s neck, digging his fingers into the tense muscles at the base of Dean’s hair. “Quit calling her; she needs the rest. We will be home in what, two hours?” Sam checked his watch. Three o’clock. They had left the hunt in Virginia a couple hours ago, and should be reaching Bobby’s North Carolina beach house by five._

_Dean cast a sidelong glare at Sam, but didn’t protest too much when Sam pulled the phone from Dean’s tight grasp. “Dean,” Sam said softly. “She’s okay. I would know.”_

_Dean reached back for the hand that Sam was tangling into his hair, and kissed Sam’s knuckles, his version of conceding Sam’s point. “Fine. But if she doesn’t call back in an hour, I’m trying again.”_

_“Okay, babe.”_

_Dean pressed down harder on the gas._

You let out a frustrated sigh.

“Y/n?” You could feel the rumble of his voice, since you were lying against Castiel on a chaise lounge on the balcony, your back to his chest. His strong hand rubbed up and down your uninjured arm.  “What’s wrong, love?”

Nothing. Everything.

You finally had what you wanted; Castiel clearly cared for you, maybe not to the depths that you cared for him, but he was here, he was strong and solid behind you, and the two of you were reclining together in the late afternoon sun, having shared the peaceful, sunny day on your balcony.

That was the problem. “We’re trapped, Cas.”

His lips traced the line of your collarbone, from your shoulder to your chin. “What do you mean?”

You pulled away, frustrated. “Here! We are trapped here, on this little slice of balcony, because I’m too hurt to move much, you don’t have enough grace to transport us anywhere, and my stupid brother has the house on stupid angel lockdown.”

Castiel thought for a moment. “I’m sure I have enough grace to move us down there.” He pointed to the beach. His low, sexy voice permeated your ears. “Do you want to lie on the beach with me, y/n?” He nipped at your earlobe. “We can watch the sunset.”

When did your angel learn how to be romantic? You closed your eyes and leaned back against his shoulder. “It’s still just a temporary fix, Cas. A band-aid. Besides, I can’t go on the beach without wanting to go into the water. And I can’t because of those stupid angel bastards and these stupid stitches!” You knew you were pouting, but you didn’t care. Why couldn’t you have a normal life, fall for a normal guy?

Just as you were about to get up to face Castiel, you turned and found yourself standing on the beach in the circle of Castiel’s arms, feeling the warm sand beneath your bare feet.

You looked down in wonder, still not used to being zapped around by an angel. You looked up at said angel. “Cas?”  Scratch that. You didn’t want a normal life, a normal guy. You wanted Cas.

“Watch the sunset with me, y/n. Let me kiss you as the sun paints the sky.”

Dammit. How could you say no to that? You sank against him, your leg muscles shaky after days of disuse. “Cas,” you sighed.

His arms tightened around you. The two of you stood there for a while, swaying to a rhythm only you could hear.

But your eyes were on the ocean, rolling with the waves, following the path of the cresting current.

“Let me-“

“I can’t go in, Cas.” You pulled away from him and waved your broken wrist in his face. “Not with this, and not with these.” You gestured to your stitches.

Cas took a deep breath. “I am outside of Dean’s warding. I can heal you.” He held a hand to your wrist.

“No!” You ripped it away from him, taking a step back. “You aren’t strong enough, Cas. Sam and Dean- I mean, we all need you on our side. You’re getting stronger every day. I will heal on my own.”

Castiel’s eyes narrowed. “I do not like seeing you in pain. Nor do I enjoy seeing you want for something you cannot have.”

You inwardly rolled your eyes. So where was he the last several months? You smiled and shook your head, still not quite believing that he was here now. “I will heal, Cas.” You assured him again. “It’s fine.”

He tugged you back towards him. “Let me.”

“Cas-“

“Trust me,” he growled, and you startled. Castiel reached for you, then checked himself. He cleared his throat. “My apologies. Clearly I have been spending too much time around Dean.” He took your free hand in his, and tried again. “Do you trust me?”

You nodded wordlessly. He lowered a hand to your thigh, and a painful burn burst through your skin.

As quick as it came, it was gone. You looked down, and while the jagged line the blade had etched into your skin was still visible, it was now a freshly healed pink. A bright line of new skin lay where your stitches used to be.

You looked up at him, mouth half open. You frowned. “Cas, I told you, you need to-“

“Shh.” He pressed the same hand to your side, and your ribs burned for a second before that stitched up slice was also healed, a fresh scar in its place.

“I cannot make it fully disappear,” Castiel said apologetically. “And I will admit, it probably would drain me too much to reknit your broken bone.” He gently cupped your casted wrist in one hand. “But you can keep this arm out of the water, and now we can go in.”

You wanted to hit him and hug him at the same time. You had told him not to heal you, dammit. You wanted him to be at full strength.

You were about to ream him out for his actions, but his mouth covered yours, swallowing up your protests. You were quickly learning that there was nothing, nothing that was as good as kissing Castiel.

His hands settled on your hips, sending a tingle through your body, tired as you were. “You still trust me?”

You pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Always, Cas.”

In an instant, Castiel was bare chested and barefoot, wearing only his slacks as he walked the two of you towards the water.

He guided you with him into the ocean, the waves lapping at your ankles, your shins, your thighs as the two of you coasted in closer. You walked further into the waves, anchored by Castiel’s strong grip.

You were in to your waist now, still in your sleep shorts and tank, and you stumbled when a particularly strong wave crashed against your body. You squeezed Castiel’s fingers tight, and he turned his head to check on you.

You started to curl in on yourself. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Your body was weak, you were still so tired, and the waves were rougher and stronger the further out you got.

Castiel’s arm snaked around your waist, pulling you tight against his body, and in an instant you were past the cresting waves, standing in the depths of the ocean where the waves hadn’t yet formed, the water gently swirling around you as it rolled away from you into waves that would crash past you onto the shore.

Cas grabbed you with his other arm, and you were suddenly hitched onto his hip like a child. He was chest deep in the ocean, the water practically to your chin, and you latched onto him instinctively. You were a hell of a swimmer, but you were so, so tired, and Cas was so, so strong.

You tucked your chin onto his shoulder, sprinkled with salty droplets that you couldn’t help but lick up.

“Y/n.” Castiel shivered.

You grinned against his skin. “Yes, Cas?”

“You continue with your ministrations, and I fear I will not be able to restrain myself. We are on a public beach, and you are still healing. Behave.”

You continued to pepper his shoulder with kisses, and licked your way along his neck. “But you’re so sweet, Cas.” Kiss, kiss, lick. “Besides, there are hardly any people out.”

Castiel whipped you around so that you were flush up against him, your legs wrapped around his waist, your front to his front. Your broken wrist rested on his shoulder, and he lowered both hands to your ass, squeezing it roughly. “You…you make this vessel react to your… _ah.”_ Castiel faltered when your teeth grazed his earlobe.

Yeah, you could feel the way his vessel was ‘reacting’ to your body. Your center hovered just above his crotch, and you could feel his hardness against your inner thigh. “Just your _vessel_ , Cas?” Your eyes danced, and God, you knew you guys had pretty much gone from zero to sixty, what with just days earlier wondering about his feelings and now feeling his erection against your skin, but holy angels you just wanted him to kiss you again.

He crushed his mouth to yours, his kiss this time rough and dirty. He urged your hips closer, grinding your soft center against his hard erection as the salt water swirled and crested around your bodies. His tongue tangled with yours, each of you slowly pulling away only to dive back in again, not wanting to drag your lips apart. “My vessel, my grace, my heart…” Your heart soared at hearing his words, so fervently spoken.

And then your angel really did take a page out of Dean’s book, his mouth spilling dirty, loving, filthy phrases that made your entire body shiver. “My body, my mouth, my cock. God, y/n, I just want to ravish you, drive myself into you so hard that I mark you from the inside. I want to love you, fuck you, show you and everyone else that you belong to me.” Castiel fisted a hand in your hair and kissed you as he spoke.

Your stomach flipped, and warmth and wetness quickly soaked your panties. “Holy shit, Cas.” You pressed your forehead to his neck, breathing heavily. “Yes. Yes, please, please kiss me, claim me, lo-“ You bit your lip and stopped yourself, instead pressing your lips to his jawline. He had said it, but only as a term for fucking, only in reference to the physical.  It was too soon for it to be otherwise, too early for him to possibly feel the same way.

As roughly and passionately as he had held you seconds earlier, he was just as gentle and soothing now. Cas carded a hand through your hair, and tipped your head to his. “I will, my love.” His lips were soft, chaste against yours. “I will. When you’re healed. If you’ll let me.” He kissed you softly.

You just nodded, too overwhelmed to speak. If getting kidnapped by angels had gotten you the one you wanted, then you’d sign up to be taken any day of the week.  You’d face heaven, hell, the wrath of your brothers, if it meant getting to love your angel.

But then you looked up, back towards shore, and gulped.

Easier thought than done.

Sam and Dean stood at the waterline, looking out at you and Cas, and they were not happy.

Especially Dean.

You tightened your grip in Castiel’s hair, one more time, just to feel its softness between your fingers. You pressed one more kiss to his mouth, then sighed. “Date night over, Cas.” You whispered sadly.

You hadn’t even gotten to see the sunset.

 

“Inside. Now.” Dean ordered. He ripped you away from Castiel the second your feet had touched dry sand, his hand curling around your uninjured wrist.

“Dean!” You yanked on your arm, to no avail. “I’m not a child. Jesus.”

“You sure act like one. What the hell were you thinking, leaving the security of the house? Do you even have a weapon on you?” Dean kept his grip firm.

You turned a pleading gaze towards Sam. “I had Cas.” You told them.

Dean huffed out a laugh, and spun around. “That’s your argument? That you are safe from angels because you had, wait, let me think, an _angel with you?”_

You planted your feet into the sand. If Dean wanted to drag you into the house, he would have to actually drag you, dammit. “He’s. Not. One of them, Dean!” You cried. “And you know it. You stubborn fucking asshole.” You turned despite the grip he had on your arm, wanting to head back to the calming safety of Castiel’s arms.

Dean’s arm snuck around your waist like a steel band, jerking your body against his, your back stuck to his front. You knew he must have forgotten about your side injury; Dean wasn’t deliberately cruel, he just had a ridiculous fucking temper. But he didn’t know that you were healed, and he could have really been hurting you, dammit.

“Dean.” Sam reprimanded sharply. “Careful. Her stitches.” But he squinted at you when you didn’t shout from pain.

You shared a look with Castiel, who was being blocked from reaching you by Sam. You were sure that your twin was doing it subconsciously, using his body as a barrier between you and Cas. You had kind of thought that Sam knew about your crush on Cas, and you had been counting on your twin as an ally.

Dean of all people should know what it was like to love someone you shouldn’t, but then, Sam had always been more inclined to listen to reason than your stupid, stubborn older brother.

Sam’s gaze raked over your body, pausing at where the bottom edge of your scar peeked out from beneath your soaked shorts. “Little Me?” Sam looked at you, confused. Then his eyes narrowed. “Lift up your shirt.”

You stuck your chin out at him. You engaged in some silent conversation with your twin, something that never failed to piss Dean off, and Sam gave you a look that meant _You want me on your side here, babe?_ You stubbornly held out for a few seconds before deliberately lifting the hem of your shirt just enough to show your ribs to Sam.

Sam gasped softly. He exchanged looks with you again, then turned to Cas. “Cas?” Sam looked at Dean, confirming to him that your injuries had healed. “I thought you were too weak to heal her?”

“I was. “ Castiel confirmed. He pinned Dean with his gaze. “Inside,” he stressed. “Out here, I could gather enough grace to heal her enough to go into the water.”

“Against my orders, dammit!” Dean growled. “You had no right-“

You struggled against Dean. “The hell he didn’t! I went outside and called Cas, he came, and even though I didn’t want him to strain himself, he healed my side, and my thigh.” Your eyes softened as you looked at Cas. “And he took me to the beach, so I could get out of that damn house. So I could be in the ocean instead of on that stupid couch.”

Dean’s arm tightened. “You are in so much trouble, squirt. And don’t think I’m not pissed at you,” he barked at Cas. “Y/n is our responsibility, not yours.”

Castiel looked at Dean levelly. “And where have you been all day then? While your sister was healing? While she lay weak on the couch, with only a note to learn of your absence?”

Sam looked guiltily at his feet, and even Dean shifted. “It was a simple salt and burn, just one state over. We knew we wouldn’t be gone long.” Dean’s hand curled around your hip. “And she would have been perfectly safe had she just stayed in the goddamn house!” Dean lifted your feet off the ground with the arm folded around your waist, and started to take you back to the house.

Okay, enough. Time to break out the big guns. You made your eyes water, and turned them on Sam. “Sammy?” You pleaded.

Sam shot you a warning look. “Dean, chill out. She was perfectly fine with Cas. In fact, we discussed this earlier, remember?” Sam prodded. His voice was calm, but his hazel eyes were sharpening towards Dean.

“I remember disagreeing with you, Sam.” Dean said curtly. But he stopped his advance towards the house.

This was your chance. You really, really didn’t want to hurt Dean, but he had no right to treat you like a child, picking you up like a ragdoll to drag back home.  You tried never, ever to do this to your brothers, but, well, desperate times and all that.

You levered your leg back, bent it backwards at the knee, and knocked your heel right into Dean’s balls.

Not too hard, not enough to really cause any damage, but it had the desired effect of stunning him for a moment, his arm falling from around you to cradle his crotch. “God _dammit!”_ He roared. You broke out of his hold and ran to Cas, who quickly wrapped his arms around you.

Sam, for his part, winced in commiseration and went to place a supportive hand around Dean’s back, but his mouth quirked up. “You taught her how to fight, Dean.” He rubbed Dean’s back, and shot you a glance, his mouth turning up at the corner.

“Yeah, but not _me_.”

“You were being a dick.” You argued.

“Didn’t mean you had to kick me in mine!”

“You were gonna drag me home like some teenage girl on her first date!”

“Yeah, and I’ll damn well do it again whenever you sneak out to see your boyfriend!”

“You are so fucking-“

“Hey!” Sam yelled. “Enough!”

“You are in so much trouble, squirt, I swear-“

“Dean!” Sam said sharply. “I said. Enough.”

You curled into Cas, turning your mouth up towards his. “Please, please don’t leave.” You knew he would know you didn’t just mean in this moment. “Please tell me that my stupid brothers haven’t ruined this.”

Castiel’s strong hand gripped your chin, and his lips ever so gently landed on yours. “Nothing will ruin this, love.” He kissed you one more time, but then gently set you away from him. “I promise.”

Sam reached a hand towards you, while keeping a staying hand on Dean. “Come on, Little Me.” Sam didn’t want you away from the protection sigils any longer than Dean did, though he was much gentler about it. “Back inside. Let’s go.” He curled his fingers tightly around yours, and you were grateful for the connection, feeling exhausted.

You headed up the sandy beach, holding onto Sam. Just before reaching the steps to your beach house, you turned to look over your shoulder.  Dean had stepped closer to Cas, getting in his face. Castiel’s expression was stoic, unreadable. Dean’s back was towards you, but you didn’t need to use much imagination to picture the angry look on his face. Your heart broke for the men who had been best friends before the rogue angels had taken you, and you sent up an aimless prayer that Dean would see reason, and that they could be such again.

Sam tugged on your hand, forcing you to face forward again. He put you in front of him going up the stairs to the house. “Inside, baby.” The endearment slipped out, and your heart broke a little more, knowing how much you had scared your twin just by going outside.

He herded you in, closing the door firmly behind the two of you, not letting go of your hand as he redrew the salt line across the entry, knowing Dean would either step over it or redo it when he came back inside.

Sam walked you into the bathroom, pulling back the shower curtain and turning on the water. He stayed silent the whole time.

You swallowed. “I’m sorry, Sammy.”

Sam leaned over and tested the water temperature with his hand. “I know.”

Sam set out a towel, and started to make his way out of the bathroom.  “I’ll be right outside. Keep your cast dry.” He said clinically, his hand closing around the doorknob to pull the door shut.

“Sam!” You cried.

He paused with the door almost closed, waiting for you to speak.

“I-“ You weren’t sure what to say, how to explain that what you felt for Cas was so epic, so intense, nothing would have kept you from joining him on that beach. And you would do it all again in a heartbeat. How could you put that into words? “Cas…he…I couldn’t…I…”

Sam softened. “I know,” he said again. You were both quiet, speaking for a moment only with your eyes.

You let out a breath. “Thanks, Sammy.”

“Clean up,” he ordered gently. “And I am right outside.” He reiterated.

Yeah, you got it. No funny business. Dean hadn’t warded the bathroom, and Sam knew it.

You stripped and stepped into the shower. You sighed as the hot water washed over your body, and you tipped your head into the spray, reliving every delicious one of Castiel’s kisses.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Sam had been waiting for you when you got out, as promised (threatened?), but once Dean returned from the beach, no Cas in sight, he and Sam had exchanged a long, silent look.

Sam hugged you tight and kissed your cheek before he disappeared. Dean gave you enough space to finish up and get dressed, but he was waiting for you outside your bedroom, drink in hand, when you were done.

You had no idea what had transpired on the beach between Dean and Castiel, but with you, Dean made no secret of his decision.

“You’ve seen him for the last time, Squirt. If you think I’m letting you near _any_ of those feathery douchebags, then you’re dumber than I think you are.” Dean shook a finger in your face.

“You don’t get to decide that, Dean!”  Dammit, where the hell was Sam? He was supposed to be on your side!

“You’re my baby sister! I’ll be damned if I let Cas-“

“You don’t _let_ Cas do anything!” You exploded. “Or me! I’m my own person!”

“I don’t want you to get hurt. He’s an angel, kiddo. It’s just…not meant to be.”

“Oh yeah.” You scoffed. “Says the guy that fucks his own brother.”

Dean seethed. “Watch your mouth, y/n.”

“Oh, sorry Dean,” you mocked. “Let me make sure I get this straight. Fucking, swearing…anything else I should add to the list of Things Dean Does That I Shalt Not?”  Your eyes burned a hole through Dean’s.

“That’s enough!” Dean roared.

You huffed out a noise, mouth dropping in disbelief at how goddamn stubborn your oldest brother could be. “You know what? Fuck you, Dean.” You turned on your heel and left Dean to his anger and his glass of whiskey.

You didn’t care anymore. Cas was gone, gone before the two of you could have a chance to be whatever it was you both wanted. And all Dean wanted to do was lay down the law with his stupid iron fist.

Yeah. You’d had enough. You stormed out the back door, barely making your way down the beach before Dean was after you, demanding that you get back inside. You ignored him as long as you could, pleading at the dark ocean that was lit only by the light of the moon and the smattering of stars.

“Cas,” You whispered. “Cas, please.” You begged for nothing, and yet for everything. “Please, come back to me.”

But Dean caught up to you, dragging you back inside, and the lack of your angel’s response left you feeling as empty as the night.                                                                                                                                                                              

\-----

Things didn’t get any better the next day. Between the tension in the house with Dean, missing Cas, and hearing nothing from Sam short of a few cryptic text messages, your temper was wearing even thinner. After avoiding each other all day, you and Dean ended up in the kitchen at the same time around nine o’clock that night. You both did your best to ignore each other as you went about your own tasks, but each one was just waiting for the other to break.

You opened the fridge.

Dean reached into the cupboard for a tumbler.

You gulped down water, hoping the act of drinking would prevent you from speaking.

Dean poured a generous glass of whiskey.

Glasses clinked against the counter, cabinet doors closed, feet shuffled.

Enough.

“I will walk out, Dean.” You said fervently. “Right into his arms. I will walk out of this house, away from this protection. Away from you.”  You stalked into the living room.

“The hell you will.” Dean growled, eating up the distance between you in three easy strides.

You grabbed a can of spray paint from the bottom of the book shelf and strode angrily over to the wall, stubbornly painting an X over one of Dean’s sigils.

“The fuck do you think you’re-“

You turned, and shouted, “Would you walk away from Sam?”

Dean stood frozen, trapped in the limit of his own truth.  After a moment he slumped onto the sofa, grinding the heels of his palms against his forehead. “Dammit.”

“You wouldn’t, Dean.” You shook your head, and forced your shoulders to relax. Tossing the paint can and sitting next to your brother on the sofa, you pressed your side into his. “You couldn’t.” You lay your head on his shoulder. “And neither can I.”

“You’re killin’ me, kiddo.”  Dean sighed.

You drew up close to your big brother. “I want so badly for you to be okay with this, Dean.” The words formed a lump in your throat. “But I don’t need you to be.”

Dean’s head dipped down to rest on top of yours. “Shit.”

A few moments passed, the silence giving the two of you some space while your bodies sought comfort form the other; yours reassured Dean that you were here, you were okay. His reassured you that even through the recent turmoil, he was still always there for you, rock solid- your father, best friend, and older brother, all rolled into one strong, steady package.

He spoke softly. “I’m not trying to purposely make you unhappy. Hell, under any other circumstances, Cas is probably the one guy I would ever think was good enough for you. Strong enough to handle you, and to protect you.”

You turned your head into his shoulder, needing his comfort, and also his understanding. “I love him, Dean.”

Dean ran a finger along your cast where it rest against his thigh. “I know.”

“And he loves me back.”

Dean blew out a breath. “Yeah.” He pressed a kiss to your hair. “I know that too.”

“So.” You looked to your big brother for answers, like you always do, like you always have. “What do we do now?”

 

Castiel walked into Jimmy Novak’s childhood home, long since abandoned now. He needed a place to stay, off the radar, and figured this was as good as any.

He knew he was being followed, though he didn’t bother sliding his angel blade into his palm. As clouded as his mind was with thoughts of y/n, and of his argument with Dean, Castiel still retained his angelic senses.

He didn’t close the front door behind himself, as one normally would have. Instead he left it open, and without even turning, Castiel addressed his stalker. “I know you are ten steps behind me, Sam. I think it foolish for you to spend the night outside.”

Sam sheepishly entered the house. “Sorry, Cas. Dean, uh, that is, Dean and I-“

Castiel waved a hand. “She is lucky to have two brothers who love her as much as you do.”

Sam closed the front door with a gentle click, sliding the lock into place. “She is lucky to have you love her as well.” He said quietly. He waited just inside the entrance, as if still needing to be invited in even after following Cas’s order to stop hiding.

“If I never see her again, my biggest fear is that she does not know the extent to which I feel about her.” Castiel admitted. He had yet to turn and face Sam, the twin soul to the one he loved. After being reamed out by his best friend for violating their sister, he felt he no longer had the right.

“She knows, Cas.” Sam said softly. “And she loves you, too.”

Castiel remained silent.

“Hey.” Sam touched his arm, briefly, in that way that humans did when their words couldn’t quite fully express their thoughts. “You’ve done nothing wrong, Cas.”

“Your brother would think otherwise.”

“My brother is an idiot.”

Castiel’s mouth quirked up, and he turned. “I would love to see you tell him that.”

Sam snorted. “It happens often. I’m surprised you’ve missed out on it after all this time.”

Castiel smiled, then cocked his head. “I am not the only person in this room who is in love with a Winchester,” he surmised.

Sam blushed, but straightened his shoulders.

Castiel shrugged off his trenchcoat. “Relax. I am not here to judge. Like I’ve said, we angels are-“

“Utterly indifferent to sexual orientation. Yeah. I know.” Sam shifted. “But loving one’s brother-“

“Loving anyone the way the Winchesters love, with all their heart in soul, is something this world could use more of.” Castiel stated, ending the discussion.  He sat down on an old recliner, covered in a dusty ivory sheet. He fidgeted somewhat uncharacteristically. “If I am to protect her, I must stay away from her.”

Sam sat on the covered sofa across from the angel. He twisted his hands together. “What do they want with my Little Me, Cas?”

Castiel looked at him, knowing all of his inner turmoil was reflected in his vessel’s eyes. “I honestly do not know, Sam.” He stood, pacing the room helplessly. “Uriel and his contingent of rogue angels, they seem to have gone completely off of Heaven’s order. Different in the way that I did after pulling Dean from Hell.” His eyes glittered. “They have ill intent.”

“Yeah, I’d say so.” Sam said angrily. “After seeing what they did to my sister, I-“

Castiel cut him off. “After helping you and Dean rescue y/n, I saw a side to my brothers that I have never before seen.” He flipped back the bay window’s curtains, peering out into the darkness. “They are choosing to go against order, and setting out to hurt humans. We must find out why.”

Sam stood. “Where the hell do we start?”

“I need to find them.” He looked at Sam. “Alone.”

“No way. Slow down a minute, Cas. We’ll call Dean-“

“There’s no time.” Castiel strode over to Sam, and ripped open the hunter’s shirt. He plucked Sam’s dagger out of his jeans, and, slicing a long cut across his own chest, Castiel dipped his finger into Jimmy Novak’s flowing blood.

“Cas!”

“Hush.” Castiel painted an angel symbol next to Sam’s anti-possession tattoo, his grace rebelling inside of him as he did. He fought through the pain, and finished the design while Sam watched, wide-eyed.

“Go.” Castiel commanded, stumbling away from Sam. “Go back to Dean and y/n. “ He pulled on his trenchcoat. “This sigil will ensure that you are not followed. I will trail Uriel, and find out what he wants with her.”

“Cas, no. Let me call Dean. We’ll go with you.”

“You cannot leave her alone, Sam.” Castiel pressed two fingers to Sam’s forehead. “Go back to them. I will be in touch when I can.”

 

“Dammit, Sammy, pick up your phone.” Dean muttered.

You watched your oldest brother pace the living room. You had just gotten him to admit that Sam was out following Cas. You had also convinced him of what he already knew; Cas was on the side of Team Winchester, and had nothing to do with your kidnapping.

You also had a certain itch under your skin to see your twin.

Now.

“Dean?” You asked worriedly.

Dean slammed back a shot of whiskey. You pulled out your own phone, and had Sam’s number dialed in an instant.

Just as you listened to the first ring, Sam exploded into your living room.

You dropped your phone. “Sammy?”

“Dammit, Sam!” Dean glared at him, then pulled his brother’s body roughly against his own. “Why the hell weren’t you answering your phone?” Dean eyed Sam’s bloody chest. “Sam? Sammy!”

“It’s okay, Dean.” Sam captured Dean’s roaming hands. “It’s not mine.”

“It’s Cas’s.” You whispered. “Sam! What happened?”

“He’s okay,” Sam rushed to reassure you. His eyes locked with Dean’s.

“He went after them.” Dean said, his voice a low rumble.

Sam nodded, and glanced at you apologetically.

“Alone?” You stood. Cradling your broken wrist to your chest, you smacked Sam upside the head with your other hand. “You let him go alone?”

“He insisted!” Sam argued. “That’s why I have this on me!” He gestured to the caked blood on his chest. “He put an angel sigil on me so that I could come back here undetected.”

You crossed your arms. “Told you guys he was on our side.” You said petulantly.  You kicked back against the cushions in frustration. “We have to follow him.”

“No, _we_ have to follow him.” Dean corrected, gesturing between himself and Sam. “You aren’t going anywhere.”

“The fuck I’m not!” You shouted, forgetting Dean’s rule about watching your mouth.  “It’s your fault he’s not here in the first place!” Dean flinched, but you continued. “You pulled him away from me once. No, wait, twice. I’ll be damned if I let you do it again.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uriel gets the best of you again, and you realize you aren't his only prisoner. You also realize you need your brothers now more than ever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bc I fucking love Cas. That is all

_Six days later_

The first time Uriel and his minions had kidnapped you, you had kicked, screamed, clawed and shouted that your brothers would rip them to fucking shreds the instant they found you.

But this time, as you stood in a cold, dim, concrete basement, you just shrugged your shoulders. “Do what you want. I don’t care.” You weren’t even bluffing.

It didn’t matter that they had taken you again. Nothing did. Not when you didn’t have Cas.

Not when you may never have him again.

You and Sam and Dean had used every clue Sam could provide after trailing Cas for those two days, and set out to find your angel. The three of you had spent days tracking Cas, to no avail. Dean had copied the angel sigil painted on Sam’s body onto his own, but you had balked when they tried to do the same to you.

“No,” You had insisted. “If Cas needs to find me, he needs to be able to _find_ me.”  

And in one split second, while your brothers had their backs turned, locked once more in a heated discussion, Uriel had struck. He had pulled you away before Sam and Dean had even fully turned to hear the noise of your captor.

Now, with Uriel’s rock hard fingers clenched around your unbroken wrist like a vise, you wondered if maybe listening to your brothers just that once may not have been a bad idea.

You shrugged those thoughts away, and tipped your chin up at your captor defiantly. “I won’t tell you anything, and I won’t do what it is you want me to. Do your worst.”

Uriel chuckled, a low, sinister sound that made your blood flow faster despite your nonchalant words. “Yes, we have gathered that the Winchester lot is a stubborn, self-sacrificing sort.” He took measured steps towards the closed metal door that you were sure held another empty chair, another coil of rope, more grey metal chains that would house you until your brothers found out where you were. It was getting old, really, being used as leverage.

Uriel continued.  “It has proven useless to use a Winchester as leverage.” Could Uriel read your damn mind?

Oh yeah, you thought tiredly. Angel.

Uriel paused, clasped his hands in front of his body. “Sure, we could slice your skin, burn your flesh, make you scream until your maverick brothers come to your rescue. But then we still wouldn’t get what we want. So, we decided to, how do you humans put it? Think outside the box.” Uriel paused. “Dean won’t listen to us. But he might listen to you.” He gave you an evil grin, and pushed open the door, standing out of the way of what it revealed. 

No ropes. No empty chair for you to sit in while they tortured you. No, they had already been torturing someone for quite some time.

“Declan. Abilene.” Uriel calmly greeted the two angels standing on either side of-

Castiel, held against the unforgiving cement wall, wrists encircled in irons bound by Enochian curses.

 Castiel, in chains.

 “Cas.” You mouthed the name of your lover, sharply drawing in a breath. Their prisoner was _Cas._

His head hung down, at least until he heard the door open. A brief flash of light illuminated those gorgeous blue eyes when he saw you, but he took one look at the guards on either side of you and his relief was short-lived.

“Y/n,” he choked out weakly. “Do not come in here. Do not let them- _argh!”_  He cried out in pain as Declan ran an angel blade across Cas’s already heavily marred chest.

Uriel dragged you farther into the room, his movements so strong and jerky that you stumbled on your feet. He pulled you along, and while you were still scrambling to find your footing, he abruptly dropped you, making you fall hard onto the concrete floor.

“Do not,” Cas panted,” do not touch her.” He spat blood onto the floor, and you cried out.

“Cas!” You had your voice back now, and you clenched your fist the sight of your bloody, broken angel. You turned to face Uriel, who was smirking down at you. “Let him go!”

Uriel stalked over to you, and your head bent back when he wound his hand in your hair and pulled. His voice was a disgusting slither across your skin as he spoke into your ear. “Why don’t you call your oldest brother down here, and he can make that request.”

Uriel abruptly released you and launched you ten feet across the room, your body slamming brutally into the cement wall. “Oh wait,” he said acerbically. “Dean Winchester doesn’t care about our fallen angel anymore. Isn’t that right, _love_?” Uriel’s tone was mocking, and the way he spoke of you and Cas made bile rise in your throat.

“Shut up,” You cursed at him. Seeing Cas so weak, so hurt, had thrown you off. You needed Sam, and Dean. You weren’t strong enough to handle this on your own. You couldn’t save Cas by yourself, not with Uriel and Declan and God knew how many other rogue angels were crawling around this underground hellhole.

You panicked. “Let him go. Let him go, and I’ll give you whatever you want.” You staggered to your feet. The force of Uriel’s throw had sent a shooting pain through your shoulders, ribs, just about everywhere. Not to mention your not even close to healed wrist.  But you did your best to ignore the pain as you looked at him with hate and contempt.

Uriel seemed to consider your words, and for a moment you thought your ultimatum may actually carry some weight.

Until he burst out laughing. Declan smirked as well, and ran his blade down Castiel’s arm, taking an inordinate amount of pleasure from the groan Castiel tried to hold in.

Uriel stood just in front of your face once more. “Oh, my dear girl. What I want, it is not in your power to give.” He snapped his fingers. “Abilene.”

Abilene appeared again out of nowhere, and up close you now recognized her as one of the angels that had captured you that day, weeks before.

“Get your hands off her,” Castiel rasped. He was in no position to make demands, but there he was, fighting with what could be his dying breath to protect you.

You fought to keep your gaze off of Cas; you couldn’t lose your focus. “Why did you bring me here? If I’m so useless,” you spat.

Uriel brushed an invisible piece of lint from his black suit. “There is no guarantee that Sam and Dean Winchester will come to rescue this angel, as much as the family Winchester may care for him. Dean will, however, listen to the pleas of his precious, baby sister.”

Uriel calmly pulled out a cell phone, and after a moment spoke evenly into the receiver. “Dean! Good evening.”

“Cas,” you whispered, catching his gaze while Uriel was distracted. You knew your emotions were written all over your face, but you couldn’t hide it.

Dammit, Dean had taught you the importance of a good poker face from the age of five, but seeing Cas held in warded chains, weakening his body as sure as every swipe of Declan’s angel blade, you couldn’t help but hurt for the man you loved.  Cas tried to lift his head encouragingly, to reassure you, but pain made his efforts weak. Your entire body ached with the need to go to him, to release him, to heal the pain he felt, to hold him and promise him it would all be okay, like he once had for you. But Abilene held you tight, and her rough grip pulled you back in front of Uriel.

“Yes, you already know what we need.” Uriel said into the phone. “We need the Winchesters to stay out of our way. But like an insidious rash, you all just keep creeping up.”

Uriel held the phone up to your mouth, grabbing you roughly to prompt you to speak.

You pursed your lips, keeping silent.

“Very well.” Uriel nodded at Declan.

Declan smirked. In a slow, measured motion, Declan raised the hand holding his angel blade and swiftly guided it into Castiel’s skin, slicing clear across Castiel’s chest from his collarbone down to his ribcage.

Right across his heart.

“Cas, _no!”_ You screamed, unwittingly into the phone, as your lover fell to his knees, held up only by the same chains that were weakening his grace, not knowing that Dean’s heart was seizing on the other side at the sound of your anguished voice, until you heard his voice repeatedly saying your name through the cell phone speaker. Abilene yanked your wrists harshly behind you, preventing you from racing over to Castiel.

Through the phone, you recognized your brother’s voice. “Y/n? y/n! Talk to me, where are you, come on sweetheart, talk to me, _dammit y/n!”_

“Dean,” you whimpered. “Dean, please. Cas, they are killing him, Dean, _please!”_

“Tell me you’re okay, y/n, tell me-“

Uriel ripped the phone away and held it to his ear. Your gaze was still fixed on Castiel’s slumped over form, and you were no longer able to hear Dean. The phone was too far away.

You wished for him, wished for him and Sam, to be right there with you in that damned angel dungeon to help you save your angel and make everything okay again.

“Dammit, Uriel, I will kill you!” You screamed, held back only by Abilene’s ridiculous strength. She was wrenching your casted wrist up roughly, holding it between your shoulder blades, while twisting your other arm backwards. “You _bitch!”_ You hissed over your shoulder.  “Sam! _Dean!”_ You shouted as loudly as you could, hoping the tiny cell phone speaker would pick up your voice.

Uriel snapped the phone shut.  He looked at Abilene and tipped his chin towards another set of chains that lined the wall- lower down, and not warded. “Leave the girl. Her brothers will be here soon.”

“Sons of bitches,” you cursed. You spat in Abilene’s face as she wrested you towards the cuffs.

She looked at Uriel. “Her cast, sir. It will not hold her wrists-“

“Her ankles, then!” Uriel roared. “Keep. Her. Held.” He looked at you grudgingly. “She may not prove as big a foe as her brothers, but it would be our mistake to underestimate her.”

You winced as Abilene wrestled your ankles into the chains that locked onto the walls. She flicked her wrist, and shackled your unencumbered wrist into a third manacle. You yanked your arms and legs against the irons, to no avail.

“Smart mouth your way out of those, angel slut.” Abilene said harshly. She and Uriel exited the room.

You kept your eyes on Declan, where he stood in between you and Castiel, on his way out the door. Declan, the asshole that had sliced his angel blade unremorsefully across your lover’s skin.

“Must be hard,” you commented to him. You seethed with anger at what he had done to Cas. “Being their little bitch. Lowest man on the totem pole, just here to do Uriel’s dirty work.”  Your eyes burned into his.

Declan paused on his way out the door, and for a moment you thought your taunt would go ignored.

Then he swiftly turned and backhanded you sharply against the face, splitting your lip. “I wouldn’t talk, all crumpled down there on our cold floor, girlie.” He left the room, closing the door with a heavy thud.

“Dammit, y/n,” Cas’s weakened voice carried softly across the room. “You have too much of your brother in you. Couldn’t you have kept your mouth shut?”

You almost smirked despite your pain. “You love my mouth.”

Castiel huffed out a laugh. “I love it more when it’s not bleeding.” He lifted his head, and your eyes watered when they connected with his across the room. “Oh, love.” He shook his head sadly. “Why did you let them bring you here?”

“You really don’t get it, do you, Cas?” It didn’t matter, this ridiculous fight, this never ending war, if you didn’t have your angel by your side. Your throat burned. “I missed you, Cas.”

“I miss you too, love. But this…” he gazed at you, at the chains that held you prisoner. “I am not worth this. You are hurt.” His voice was sharper now.  “You should have let me go. You should have-“

“Bullshit!” You snapped. Your lip hurt, your wrist burned, your shoulders were sore, and the ground beneath you was freezing cold, but all you knew in that moment was Castiel- his gorgeous blue eyes, his jet black hair, his pain-roughened voice warming your heart and soul from across the cold, dank room. “If you saw me like that,” you tipped your chin and gestured in his direction, “Would you have walked out?” The cut into his chest was not as deep as you had first feared, but there was still a thick red line of blood painted across his skin.

Castiel didn’t hesitate before quietly vowing, “Never.”

You waved your cast, showing that he had just proven your point.

Castiel shifted, and groaned. “Damn stubborn humans.”

Oh, that voice. You had missed it so much, missed him, and you wanted his arms around you so much it hurt.

You knew he couldn’t read your mind at the moment, weak as he was. But just then he pinned you with his gaze and said, “I love you so much, y/n.”

“I love you, Cas.” You vowed fiercely. You gave your chains another tug, and since you couldn’t reach out to him, you channeled your pent up anger and anguish towards thoughts of Sam and Dean, bursting through the door to free you and your angel.

“So,” you mused to Cas. Your tongue darted out to soothe your injured lip, and even tired and hurt, Castiel’s eyes traced your every move. “How long do you think it’ll be ‘till my idiot brothers show up?”


	5. Chapter 5

The answer was six hours. Six hours after you and Castiel had avowed your love for each other, your idiot brothers, true to glorious form, showed up to bust you out.

Unfortunately, those damp, cold, six hours hadn’t done your body any favors. The wrist that Abilene had twisted was now a nice dark purple, the abrasive metal shackles holding you to the wall had long since scraped and chafed your ankles, and your split lip, courtesy of Declan, was throbbing like a son of a bitch. You were cold, tired, and you really, really needed to pee.  The echo of a loud thump, like a door slamming shut, made your head perk up, but after a few moments of silence you gave up watching your own door and went back to focusing your tired brain on your dire situation.

You and Castiel had strategized for the first few hours, trying to figure out how to escape the cold dungeon, but without help there was no way to get your chains undone, let along the Enochian bindings holding Castiel hostage.

And keeping him weak. You didn’t know how long he had been here before you had been captured, but he had passed out an hour ago, his arms strung up and his head hanging limply between his shoulders. The sight of his body temporarily giving out made you angry, and you wiped frustrated tears away on your shoulder as you lectured yourself to stay strong.

“Come on, come on,” you scolded yourself, talking out loud just to keep your throat working. “Think. What would Dean do?”

“I’d have hidden an extra angel blade in my boot, for starters.” A deep voice responded. A large male body dropped down from above onto the floor in front of you, followed by another.

You sat up as far as your restraints would allow. “Dean!” You looked around him, seeking out your twin and almost collapsed in relief at the refreshing sight of his long, dumb hair. “Sam. Sammy!”

“Hey, Little Me.” Sam crooned, kneeling down immediately to pick the locks around your ankles. Looking up at you through his bangs, his face was a mess of concern. “Are you okay?”

“I’m pissed. And sore. And I need to pee. But yeah, Sammy, I’m okay. I’ll live. But Cas, check Cas. Oh, God, Sammy, he-“

“Shh.” Sam soothed. “I know. But we need to stay quiet so we can get out of here undetected.”

“You guys are getting out undetected,” Dean growled. “I’m staying to talk to fucking Uriel. If he wants me, he’ll get me. As long as he leaves the two of you alone.” You and Sam shared a look, and Sam rolled his eyes.

“How did you guys get in here?” You asked.

“A loose floorboard and an angel whose loyalty still lies with Cas,” Dean answered, making his way over to Castiel.

You looked up and saw a tiny break in the ceiling where Sam and Dean had dropped in from. “So Uriel didn’t see you?”

“No,” Sam answered. “And we need to keep it that way.”

While Sam worked at your shackles, Dean tried to revive Castiel. The curse he uttered under his breath did nothing to reassure you of your lover’s condition.

“His chains are bound with Enochian curses. They sliced him up and have been slowly draining him of his grace.” You told them all you knew of Castiel’s condition. Your eyes were wide with fear as you watched Dean study Castiel’s restraints. He murmured Cas’s name and lightly slapped his face a few times, but Cas still hung slumped over and motionless. Tears stung your eyes again. Sam had freed your ankles and was working on your entrapped wrist, his jaw set in a hard line when he saw the bruised skin.

“Tell me you know how to reverse it, Sammy. Tell me you know a spell that will break his chains and set him free,” you begged him.

Sam said nothing, just continued to work his fingers and lock picks around metal until your wrist was free. Your limbs burned with new movement, but before you could spring to your feet to run to Cas, Sam scooped you up with one arm under your knees and one under your back.

“No,” you protested. “Sam, let me go! I need to get Cas!” Sam ignored you. “Dean!” You whispered harshly.

Dean responded without turning around, his focus still on Castiel. “Sam, get her out of here.”

“Dean!”

“Now, Sammy!”

“No!” You fought against Sam’s hold, refusing to leave Castiel behind while you got to leave safely. “I’m not leaving without him! Cas!”

All three of you froze when Castiel’s head slowly lifted. His eyes were sleepy and unfocused only for a moment before he zeroed in on Dean, then you.

“Cas!” You cried again, certain it was your weakened voice that had awoken him. Sam finally put you down. All thoughts on getting to Cas, you ignored the worried looks Sam threw at the door.

You rushed over to Castiel, reaching up to gently cup his face. “Cas, can you hear me?”

“I hear you, love.” Castiel’s voice was gritty and rough with pain. “Dean. Sam. Get her out of here.”

“Yeah, workin’ on it.” Dean grumbled. “Sam!”

“No, Cas.” You shook your head. “I’m not leaving without you.”

“Stubborn…human,” Cas rasped. He pressed his cheek into your hand and then pierced you with those baby blues. “Go. Go with Sam. Dean and I won’t be far behind. Right, Dean?”

Your entire focus was on Castiel, so you missed the worried glance that Dean quickly covered with his usual bravado, but you did hear him respond, “Damn right.”

“No,” you whispered. Castiel gave you a small smile, and a slight nod.

“Little Me, let’s go. Now.” It would be hard to pull yourself up on a broken wrist and a bruised forearm, but you’d learned nothing if not strength from your brothers. Sam pulled you away from Castiel, and knelt down so you could get on his shoulders.  You climbed on, never breaking eye contact with Cas. “Cas,” you said softly. There was so much more you needed to say, but Sam had already stood up, and Dean put his arms up to signal you to copy him so you could reach the floorboards above.

But Castiel nodded, and knew what you meant in that soft utterance of his name, and he whispered something in Enochian before softly saying, “I love you, too.”

Then Sam gave you one last boost, murmured something to Dean, and with that you and your twin left Dean and Cas in the bowels of Uriel’s basement.

 

_”Let him go,” Dean demanded of Uriel, once the dark angel had joined them. Uriel and his two sidekicks had heard the daring escape of half the Winchester clan, but were too late to halt it, and now stood before the remaining two._

_“Oh, Dean.” Uriel smiled, a sickly gesture that twisted his face. “He’s much too useful for me to get rid of him now. Seeing my once loyal brother so battered and broken, well. It serves him right for defecting to the humans. To the Winchesters,” Uriel spat._

_Dean clenched his fists and braced his body protectively in front of Castiel. “You’ve got me here. That’s what you wanted. Let him go, and we can talk.”_

_“Dean,” Castiel protested weakly. “Do not. Do not trade yourself for me.” He used his remaining strength to gather himself up to stand fully upright, painful as it was to do so._

_Uriel smirked. “You should listen to him, Dean. He is weakened, drained of over half his grace. He is of little use to you now.” His lips curled. “Or to your sister, I should think. Tight little human like her deserves more than some broken angel, don’t you agree?”_

_Dean advanced on Uriel, baring his teeth. “You utter one more word about my sister, ass feathers, and I will take you down. Negotiations be damned.”_

_Uriel held Dean’s gaze for a tense moment, then lifted his hands in mock surrender. “Fine. My apologies.” His gaze flickered over to Castiel, who was also angrily staring him down, before landing back on Dean. “I won’t tell you, then, how she sobbed and pled for us to let this angel live.  How she offered herself in trade for his life.” He stood toe to toe with the eldest Winchester. “She would have begged, Dean. She would have given us anything we wanted.”_

_“You son of a bitch,” Dean swore._

_“But, you, Dean,” Uriel continued seamlessly. “You are what I really want. Not your whore of a sister.” Uriel chuckled darkly, and shook his head. “Silly girl didn’t even think to use her angel blade. Or do you suppose a taste of angelic heaven has caused her to forget every lesson her brothers ever taught her?” Uriel tsked mockingly at Dean. “Looks like you are no longer the number one man in her life, big brother.”_

_Dean’s fist stung like a mother fucker when it connected with Uriel’s face, but he felt a bolt of satisfaction at the fact that, even though more due to surprise than strength, he caused the bastard to stumble back a bit._

_“Call her that again,” Dean dared. “You have me. It’s over. Let go of the Dr. Evil theatrics and release Cas. Then you and I can have a heart to heart. You filthy winged bastard.” But something in Uriel’s words had given Dean an idea, so as he spoke, Dean slowly stepped backwards, inching ever closer to Castiel._

_Uriel didn’t notice; lost in his own musings and his stare down with Dean, he hadn’t noticed Dean’s movements. “I will not go after your brother-I won’t even touch that topic- or your sister. We can negotiate like men, Dean, sure. But I will not release Castiel.”_

_“Fine,” Dean flexed his arm, letting his angel blade slide down his sleeve into his hand in one quick motion that would have made Cas proud.  “Then I will.” Dean spun on his feet and slashed his blade through Castiel’s chains, right side then left in two fluid movements. Dean completed his full body spin and, taking advantage of the dark angel’s stunned surprise, plunged the same blade straight through Uriel’s chest. “Thanks for playing, though.”_

Something tugged at the back of your mind later that night as Sam cuddled you on the couch, holding an ice pack to your wrist. He had kept himself armed and hadn’t let you out of his sight for two seconds since rescuing you from Uriel.  You couldn’t stop thinking about Cas, and you missed him so bad it hurt. Wondering whether he and Dean were okay was tearing up your stomach and giving you a migraine.

“Sam, please, we have to-“

“I know, Little Me.” Sam’s eyes had stayed perpetually wet since leaving Dean behind, but his resolve to keep you safe and away from the rogue angels hadn’t faltered, even through his own concern. “But you aren’t going anywhere. I am not leaving you alone. Dean will get Cas out, and they’ll be fine.” Sam tightened his hold on your wrist. “They’ll be fine,” he repeated, more to himself than to you.

You snuggled into Sam to try and offer your own comfort, wanting to believe his words more than anything.  You had just allowed your eyes to drift closed when a stabbing pain shot through your head once more. “Argh!”

Sam’s giant hand immediately cupped your face. “Hey. Hey! What is it, Little Me? Are you okay?”

It was so close, this signal, this something trying to wrap itself into your mind. You squeezed your eyes shut and focused on it with everything you had left. “It’s, I don’t know, my head, there’s something…”

_Hold on, love. Stay safe for me._

You gasped. “Cas! Sam, it’s Cas.” And he sounded tired.

Tired, but not miserable.

“Sam.” You grabbed his arm excitedly. “Sammy, I think they made it out.”


	6. Chapter 6

It took two hours for you and Dean to clean and stitch all of Castiel’s wounds. The angel that had helped Sam and Dean into the basement dungeon had also recovered two vials of Castiel’s grace, pressing the crystal tubes into Dean’s hand on his way out. She had warned Dean to give it back to Castiel slowly, or else considering the damage already done to his vessel it could cause his heart and nervous system to implode if given all at once.

“Here, Cas,” you said softly, tipping one of the vials into his mouth. You and Dean each now wore one around your necks, and you tipped about a tablespoon’s worth of your portion into Castiel’s mouth.

When Dean had carefully secured both vials to strong, corded leather after coming back home, when he had given one to you and put the other around his neck, your heart had melted, too full of love for your oldest brother for it to possibly stay in one piece. It was a sign of how glad Dean was to have Castiel back, how much he had missed his best friend, how he respected your choice of whom to love…

How the battle was finally over, with every Winchester safe and accounted for.

Now, thirty-six hours after Dean and Castiel’s return, Sam and Dean had yet to leave Dean’s room except to shower and ask after Castiel, and you had yet to leave Castiel’s side, giving him tiny doses of grace every twelve hours and cleaning and re-bandaging his wounds every eight.

“That’s it,” you encouraged, watching Castiel’s ragged throat swallow the grace that would restore his body and his being back to their powerful, angelic standards. “Nice and slow. Easy.”

Castiel turned his mouth away from the blue light, and his eyes opened part way, wrinkling a little bit at the corners from pain and exhaustion. He rasped your name.

“Yeah, Cas.” You gave him your best smile, even as your own throat burned. “I’m here.” You brushed a tender hand through his hair and guided his head back down to rest against the pillow that lay next to yours.

He swallowed again, and this time his eyes opened fully, more life in them now than you had seen in too long. He turned his head towards your side of the bed. “Your wrists. Your ankles, how are you-“ he broke off with a jagged cough, and you slipped an arm behind his back to help support him.

“I’m fine, Castiel. I promise.” You felt the pain of his wrecked cough in your own chest, and you were even about to call out to Dean when Cas finally settled back down. “Cas, please. You need to rest. I’m here, I’m fine. You need to stop worrying about me and just get yourself better, alright?”

Cas turned his cheek into your hand. “I’d be lost without you, love.” He whispered, his eyes falling shut again.

You pressed kisses to each of his eyelids. “Me too.” You answered, settling in next to him to attempt to get some sleep. You could rest, now that your angel was back by your side. He had saved you once, had healed your hurts and now you gladly returned to the favor.

“I love you,” You said softly, pressing a soft kiss to his slack lips before falling asleep beside him.

 

“No.”

“Dean!”

“No way.”

“Cas?” you tried.

“I’m sorry, love. I agree with Dean. Absolutely not.” 

You rolled your eyes, and grinned mischievously at your twin. “Sammy?”

“Hell yeah.” Sam agreed.

“Losers!” You called out to Dean and Cas. Sam grabbed your hand, and the two of you ran off to join the line for the tallest, fastest, scariest roller coaster in the Midwest.

At least that’s what was advertised. You and Sam couldn’t wait to try it out. 

“Squares.” Sam commented as the two of you lowered the safety bar over your laps.

“Totally.” You reached down to squeeze his hand. The two of you leaned over to wave to Dean and Cas where they stood holding a plate full of sugary fair food, ready to watch the ride take off. Sam squeezed back and ran his thumb over the faint scar that lingered on your wrist. The bone had reknit itself, the cast taken off weeks ago. The scar along your wrist and a matching one on your ankle were the only physical reminders of your two encounters with Uriel.

Now, three months later, your body and your angel fully healed, the four of you had opted for something that was a true rarity in the Winchester household- a real, honest to God vacation. Today would be spent at the amusement park, then tomorrow the four of you would hit the road and head further west, to the cabin that Dean had reserved for you all in the depths of the Rocky Mountains. Dean and Sam were looking forward to some hiking and target practice, and you couldn’t wait to show Castiel what humans did when they were away from civilization with nothing but time on their hands- specifically, to put those hands anywhere and everywhere on each other they wanted.

The coaster jerked to a start and crept along the tracks, slowly ascending to its first crest where it would rocket its passengers through a series of twists and loops sure to challenge even the sturdiest of stomachs. As you watched Dean shove a bit of funnel cake into a confused Castiel’s mouth, you turned away from the tiny figures below with the brightest of smiles on your face. “Everything turned out okay, Sammy.” You said with wonder. “It’s actually all okay.”

Sam returned your smile, and squeezed your hand again. “It’s more than just okay, Little Me.”  Still leaning slightly over the side, he gave Dean a little wave, and you barely refrained from teasing Sam about the cheesy grin that split his face, knowing that your face looked identical when you looked at Castiel. “It’s perfect.”

And with that, you and your twin held each other’s hands, and your breaths, letting them out on a joint scream as you descended, careening together through the wind and sky.

 

_Epilogue_

_Estes Park, Colorado_

 

“I have warned you about doing that, y/n,” Castiel scolded. Mid-afternoon sunlight spilled in through the cabin window, and your lips trailed along Castiel’s bare shoulder where you were dropping kisses, nipping at the skin before soothing the bites with your tongue.

“Mmm,” you hummed, continuing to trace your mouth along his skin. “I don’t much care for rules.”

“So I’ve noticed.” Castiel growled and gripped your hips, swiftly rolling you over so he lay on top of you. He crashed his mouth against yours, his tongue delving deeply into your mouth in hot, wet, eager exploration. “I cannot, however, allow you to continue without showing you the consequences of your behavior.” He tore his mouth along your neck, kissing and sucking across your throat, your collarbone, down your chest.

You could feel his erection pressing into your thigh and you lifted your hips up to grind against it. “Yes, Cas,” you breathed. His mouth teased around your breasts. “Show me, please, show me how-Oh, God, yes.” His mouth closed around your nipple as one hand came up to tease the other. You ground your hips against him harder, but he only continued to tease and play with your nipples as he lifted his lower body off of yours.  “Tease,” you scolded.

“I have all my grace back now, love, thanks to you.” He pressed a soft kiss to your lips, conveying so much feeling in that sweet gesture. He resumed his teasing, and while his hands played across your sensitive breasts his tongue traced the outline of your lips. “I can last…” he thrust his hips just close enough to your center, “all-“ he thrust again, pulling away when you rose to meet him, “night.” Thrust.  
“Long.”

“Cas,” you moaned. You locked your ankles around his waist, and pulled him closer to lie more securely between your thighs. “Cas, please, I need you.”

Castiel slipped a hand down your body to play in between your legs, using your wetness to slick you up as well as himself. “Need me to what, love.”

Like he didn’t know. Good thing Sam and Dean had left for an all day hike and picnic, so you could beg and plead as loudly as you wanted; as Castiel wanted. “Need you be inside me.” You reared up to kiss Cas again, smashing your mouth to his, showing him how badly you wanted him. “Now.” You reached down in between your bodies to wrap a hand around his hot, hard cock, guiding it towards you.

He gasped when the tip of him ran along your wet folds. “Oh, heavens, oh, love, you feel so good, so wet for me.”

“You aren’t even inside me yet, Cas.” You whispered naughtily into his ear. “Imagine how good I will feel then.”

He ground his forehead against yours, sweat and salty skin rubbing together as your mouths shared kisses, breaths, air. “Show me,” Castiel commanded. “Show me how you feel.” He lowered his hips as you raised yours, both of you lining up together, not needed anyone’s guiding hand for him to sink into where he belonged.

“Yes,” you sighed.

“Yes,” he breathed.

Cas slowly slid all the way inside of you, pausing for a moment when he was fully seated, both of you reveling at the feeling of being as close as you could possibly get.

“Cas,” you moaned. “Please, please…”

“I’ve got you, love.” Cas ran his hands along your arms and linked your fingers together as he slowly started to drive in and out of your body. You rocked up to meet his thrusts, your orgasm building as he thrust his hips against you. “Cas, Cas, _Cas.”_ You repeated, throwing your head back, awash with ecstasy at finally feeling him inside you.

Squeezing your fingers tightly, Castiel locked his eyes with yours as he pistoned his hips, fucking into you at just the right pace, building you both up higher and higher.  “I told you,” he said throatily, “I told you that day in the ocean that I would love you, fuck you, claim you. Mark you up on the inside and make you well and truly mine.”

“Oh, God,” you moaned.

“Didn’t I?” He picked up the pace, driving into you harder and faster.

“Cas-“

“Didn’t I?” He demanded, harsher this time. Castiel bent his head to lick and suck at your neck, laying his claim there as well. His lips sucked and pulled at your skin, tongue darting out to coat the bruise with his spit, his scent, his mark. “Didn’t I, love?” He plunged harder, deeper.

“Yes,” you screamed. “Yes, Cas, please, I’m gonna-“ You tore your hands from his to wrap your arms around his shoulders, raking your fingers up his sweaty, muscled torso, pulling him close. “Gonna come, Cas, don’t stop, please.” You begged, tipping your head back so he could continue sucking his claim into your neck.

“Never gonna stop, love.” He murmured into your skin. He gripped your hips and fucked you faster, swallowing your scream as you came on his cock. “Sweet heaven, I can feel you squeezing me, can feel you coming around me, can feel…you…” Castiel thrust into you twice more before shouting on his own release, his head falling to your chest as you milked his orgasm from his body.

He was still inside of you when he collapsed atop your chest, still lying in between your thighs. Your hands came up to weave through his hair, stroking him in gentle, soothing motions while you waited for your breathing to slow. His lips pressed lazy caresses into your chest.

Castiel slowly pulled out of you and rolled to the side, propping himself up on one elbow. He stroked his other hand down your face, smiling when you turned to meet his gaze. Eyeing the hickey on your neck, he murmured, “Dean is going to kill me for that tomorrow.”

You stretched and turned into his arms, letting him cuddle you into his chest. “Ten bucks says Sam comes back with one to match.”

Cas chuckled and gathered you close, settling the two of you into the pillows and drawing the sheet up over your naked bodies. “You Winchesters are an odd lot.”

“You love us,” you said sleepily, nosing into his chest, eyes falling closed.

He gave you a squeeze, and you felt the most comforting warmth flow from his body into yours, sure that if you had bothered to open your eyes that you’d practically see the soothing, blue light of his grace swirling inside his chest. “I do,” he agreed, pressing a kiss to your temple. “I do, love.” Castiel closed his eyes, tucking his cheek against your hair. “So very much.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Check out my original debuts at www.autumnmckayne.com  
> Twitter - @autumnmckayne


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